i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
