So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Randomize
