So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
