I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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