well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
