doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
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I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
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Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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