rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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