no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
NoShamevember. You game?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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