Porn is love you can see.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
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