I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize
