Got a toothbrush?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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