you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
There are leaves in my underwear?
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize