Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
