Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Randomize
