when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
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he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
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