WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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