tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
