the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize