Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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