NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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