I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize