my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
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