they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
