He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
