I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
She's the barista slut.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
