I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
