True but thats because hes a fetus.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
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