i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
