We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
3 2 1 whiskey
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
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