Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
