I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize