dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Randomize
