sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
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Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
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