I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize