You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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