Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Randomize
