We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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