Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
