tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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