Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
