And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
