She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Say something about gay babies.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
