not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
