spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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