honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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