I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
