i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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