that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
