been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Randomize
