CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
