I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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