Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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