The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
