I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
