my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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