Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Randomize
