I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize
