You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
