We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Randomize
