Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
