I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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