You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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