Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
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