One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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